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by : Laila
Published 25 November 2005

Laila’s Wedding Speech at the Cradle of Humankind

Our Marriage

I wish to begin with a few verses from a song by Bockshot Lefonk entitled ‘I know why the caged bird sings”.

‘The caged bird sings with a fearful trill of things unknown but long forestill
And his tune is heard on the distant hill for the caged bird sings of freedom’

A free bird leaps on the back of the wind and floats downstream until the current ends and dips his wings in the orange sunrays and dares to claim the sky.”

What does a relationship mean? I chose this song because it speaks to the fears of marriage as a constraining cage around two love birds.

Our understanding of this exchange of commitments is how to guide the caged birds to fly towards freedom. When the caged door is opened , the love birds soar high in their exploration, precisely because they have the security and support of the companion they come home to. The seven commitments that I am going to talk to you about represent the key that opens the caged door.

Commitment one: Wildness/Creativity
Ahmedi, to me, is a wild bird. That is why I fell in love with him. Part of this exchange is to commit to nurturing that wild and creative side in him because this is where to me, his spirit lies.

Commitment two: To encourage us to move beyond our comfort zones and remain open to new explorations

Commitment three: To challenge eachother in pursuing and fulfilling our dreams by manifesting our potential

Commitment four: To communicate openly about how we feel. Without communication the air vents to a good working relationship becomes clogged

Commitment five: Learning how to fight well-sticking to one’s principles but also learning the art of compromise

Commitment six: Commit to living with integrity, in how we treat and respect eachother in our personal lives. Essential to this integrity is being open and honest with eachother. We must carry this integrity into the working and social worlds that we interact with. In this regard, this personal integrity becomes deeply political.

Commitment seven: Nurturing and managing our passion. Our passion was so intense at the start of our relationship that I learnt how passion can rear its ugly head with the attributes of obsession, territoriality, aggression, melodrama...Through time we learnt to steer the ship through our ocean of passion and found gentleness. Passion is central to who what drives us as individuals and is in large part, why we chose one another. This moment and day is to celebrate how we have sculpted our passion into our relationship and lives and is a moment to commit to keeping this passion very much alive in our relationship.
In essence, these qualities are present in our relationship to varying degrees. I chose this moment to highlight them as principles to espouse and grow like fruit bearing seeds in the garden of our relationship.

Laila’s Wedding Speech